"They love to take short-term trips
over here..." a former co-worker and
neighbor explained. He had moved from Indonesia to Singapore
and was
visiting after changing locations. Talking about Christians
in his new host
country, he continued, "...but when they've had
enough, they retreat back
home."
I
tucked that comment in my back pocket and continued on
my journey until I
read an author writing on cross-cultural work and money
who brought up the
word 'insulation.' Originally, it came from the Latin root,
insulatus,
meaning 'made into an island.' Now it means 'to separate
or cover with a
non-conducting material in order to prevent the passage
of heat, sound,
etc.'
Who,
me? Couldn't be! And yet, after returning from our second
home
assignment, logging ten years since we made the move
to Indonesia, my
husband and I began to notice some uncomfortable feelings
in our own hearts.
We had become experts at being as connected or disconnected
as we wanted
with nationals. Sure, sometimes things culturally go
over our heads. Yet,
sometimes we conveniently insulate ourselves, oh so subtly,
just by using
unspoken excuses-"We're foreign. I didn't catch that
in the local language.
We live differently. We have different values." The
truth is, because of our
position in life through our means and foreign-ness,
we can easily retreat
into our own homes, culture or even back to our own country
whenever we
want!
There are
at least five levels of existence for people living cross-culturally:
* Fed-up-"I've had it; get out of my face; I can't
take anything else that's new."
* Distant-"God asked me to be here-I'm here. Please leave me alone."
* Functioning or floating - "Life's good, I'm fine and stable. That's
enough for now."
* Trying hard-"I've
learned a lot, life's good, but what does that word mean?"
* Intense-"Wow-this is close! I'm still learning a lot!"
The
other day I was at a ladies neighborhood meeting. Each
member wore her
brown batik uniform, except me. I was in the States
last year when they
ordered them and haven't yet succeeded in purchasing
one.
Everyone spoke the
local dialect, except me. The tiny packed room was
somewhat a blur of
exchanging money, recording amounts, bantering back
and forth, caring for
the stray kids who ran in and out, etc. Since my language
comprehension was
limited, my other senses were quite heightened and
I noticed facial
expressions and tone of voice while I tried desperately
to remember a few
words to write in my notebook later without looking
like I was engaged in
language learning.
If
I were Fed-up, I could have easily skipped the meeting.
Or I could have been Distant and sat there disengaged,
letting my mind wander and think about the barbeque chicken
and mashed potatoes I was going to have for supper. I
chose to Try hard-to make conversation, learn the names
of the two ladies I hadn't memorized yet and capture
a few new words in the local dialect. It takes constant
effort!
Perhaps
the most dangerous and frightening possibility in all of
this is to insulate my heart. I am referring not only to
insulating myself physically or even mentally but putting
a protective wall around my inner being and feelings to
the point that I am not as caring, considerate and loving
as I should be toward nationals. If
I invisibly separate my heart from them, they cannot
get to me and I cannot really feel for them.
Who
are some positive examples? I think about Jesus. He wept,
He felt, He
was moved by people's needs. He saw their hurts and knew
what was real. He
honestly faced the people around Him and their life situations.
I think
about the apostle Paul. He kept his eyes and ears open
and knew people's
scrapes and fights. He encouraged them towards love,
peace and joy. He
prayed and pled on their behalf. He was real. These are
examples of people
who are exposing their hearts, not insulating them.
In
a cross-cultural living situation there are times when
we must become
like an island. We must retreat, take a break and put
up a protective wall
in order to survive. Let yourself cry, laugh and dare
to feel, even when it
hurts. Expose your heart for the sake of the gospel rather
than insulate it.
I've found that the Holy Spirit opens my eyes and softens
my heart to the
people in my life who are His concern at the moment.
There
is a common but heartfelt prayer that touches me
to the core whenever
I hear it come from the lips of economically poor Indonesian
brothers and
sisters before we eat a meal: "Thank you for this
blessing...and we pray for
those who at this moment have less than we have." To
me it's a perfect
example of not insulating my heart.
<from Women of the Harvest Ministries
2004> ¡@
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